Do you battle with self-sabotage or low self-esteem? Even the best people struggle with voices of self-criticism that shout louder than voices of self-approval. Most people would rather not have to give themselves continual pep talks, but doing so seems to be part of life.
Self-sabotagers often live under the presumption that they’re not measuring up. They presume they’ve fallen short or disappointed someone. Some people are overly hard on themselves. Though doing a great job, they don’t measure up to their own high standards.
But all people make mistakes. Self-confident people set reasonable standards and learn from their mistakes. Self-confident people don’t worry what others think. They stay resilient and move forward.
Trust Facts not Feelings
It’s also too easy to navigate life based on how you’re feeling. If you’re feeling down on yourself, you’ll have low self-esteem. But feelings waiver, and aren’t dependable.
It’s better to acknowledge that everyone has some bad days that are gloomier, less productive and disappointing. Don’t measure yourself by how you’re feeling daily. Challenge your thoughts with the truth. Walk through bad days until you rebound.
How to Develop Self-Confidence
If you’re to manage the waves of life that oppose you successfully, you’ll need to develop a stronger sense of self. Developing confidence will help you push through self-doubt and help you live the life you really want.
There are many routes to developing self-confidence. Here are but a few to incorporate into your daily routine:
. Know what’s important to you. Decide on a set of values, morals, priorities and work ethics to live by. Doing so will help you set boundaries and make good decisions.
. Live with a sense of greater purpose. Understand that you have something of value to offer the world. Doing your part well will give you a greater fulfillment even when completing mundane tasks.
. Make doing the right thing with kindness your aim. Choose to do the right thing when faced with a task or decision. Then carry it out with kindness, generosity and humility. Some individuals will give love to receive love in return, but the self-confident person will give love and kindness no matter if it’s guaranteed to be returned or not.
. Learn to let go. Approve of others and you’ll approve of yourself more. Don’t get swept up into resentment or dwelling on hurtful situations. Don’t gossip about others. Self-confident people let things go and move on.
. Be positive. Choose to be a positive thinker. There are enough negative thinkers in the world. Be different. Look for the good in situations.
. Find a cause to help that suits you. Use what you have to help others. Whether you promote a project online, give a financial donation where needed, or participate in cleaning up your community, you’ll feel as though you’re helping the world at large and you’ll be more confident.
. Add life balance. Add variety to your routine. Stir your imagination with creativity with a hobby. Get your mind off yourself with a change of scenery. Enjoy nature and a little physical activity. Self-confident people have balance in their life.
. Practice self-love. Incorporate healthy thoughts about yourself and about those around you. Take responsibility for how you spend your time and what thoughts you choose. Don’t spend your energy looking for approval from others. Take pride in your accomplishments. Love yourself.
Greater self-confidence can be yours if you work steps such as these listed. As you see yourself overcome challenges, you will develop greater resilience. As you take new steps, you’ll see that you are transforming into a more confident person.
Stop self-sabotage from creeping into your life. Review these steps regularly and keep building your confidence.
By Joy R. Calderwood
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